A friend once mentioned she had outgrown certain friendships. She went into a spiel of the sort of people she was keen on engaging but I had stopped listening; with no mention of names I felt hurt “this must be somewhat directed at me” I thought. I found it belittling. How could someone I held with such great esteem think I wasn’t good enough? Again she hadn’t even mentioned my name! Looking back now I see it was my own complexes making me feel little; the truth is next to her I already saw myself smaller before she said anything. This was in my late teens/early 20s.
Fast forward to my late 20s; I found myself feeling the exact way. Now it wasn’t about A friend it was about MOST! I suddenly felt the very few friends I was on similar wavelengths with were in another town. Scratch that. Other countries! Miles away! Am I suffering from the same superiority complex that gave my friend the audacity to outgrow (maybe) me? I don’t know.
I had three main issues:
- I was engaging in fruitless conversations.
- I was learning nothing from most of my friends.
- I felt like my friends were stuck in a loop repeating old mistakes.
I felt more and more stagnant in my growth and these words came to mind:
“You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With” – Jim Rohn
This really got me thinking about making new friends, but how do I even go about that??? Can’t exactly go back to Uni and have a do-over?
So you tell me, do I need to drop my “high shoulders”? Or is it actually time for a revamp?