Jealousy

jealous
/ˈdʒɛləs/
adjective
  1. feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.
  2. feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one’s partner is attracted to or involved with someone else.
  3. fiercely protective of one’s rights or possessions.

Based on my experiences, I’ve noticed that the feeling of jealous changes at different stages of a relationship.

In the early stages most of the feelings falls into the second definition. It can be a very shallow emotion – “how can you be attracted to or interested in someone else when you have me!?” It also usually boils down to the physical, the constant feeling that you think your partner wants to have sex with other people. There is really nothing that can be done about this feeling, sometimes it’s a personality thing, sometimes it’s baggage from past relationships, sometimes its actually seeing your partner trying to or successfully having sex with other people.

Further into relationships the feeling of jealousy becomes the one in the third definition. You see your partner as something that is yours and you don’t want anyone trying to play with your shit (it’s irrelevant if you want to play with your shit or not). This type of jealousy is a little more quiet than the previous one, its less confrontational but comes with more spite.

Now when you’ve been together so long and you get married the game completely changes. It’s more similar to the first definition and resentment is the key word here. You start getting jealous of time and achievements. As a woman you start to feel jealous of the extra freedom your husband has over you. You start to blame your partner when you feel held back in your life because you put your family/home first. I think Cece pretty much had this covered in the previous post.

There is one more definition I’d like to add:

4. constantly trying to have one over your partner and look like the good guy.

As childish and pointless as it sounds, this type of jealousy is so real and can happen at any stage of a relationship. You find yourself asking questions you genuinely do not care about, just to show that “hey, I notice you fucking up”. I honestly don’t know why we bother, its tedious and exhausting but for some reason it establishes some balance – unhealthy as it might be.

There’s no great point to this post.